dijon

How did you two meet?

J. We met at Club 200, July 17th, 2014. I was going out with some friends from work for a night of dancing. I was dancing without my shirt on, and of course I’m a really good dancer. Kevin’s friend Michelle saw me, came to dance with me, and for some reason thought it would be funny to tell me that Kevin is really into me. So of course I ate it all up, I don’t remember what I did, I think I just like, threw myself at him..

K. You just came over to me and talked to me.

J. Was I sweet?

K. You were drunk.

J. That’s all I really remember. Well I remember I was doing a lot of cartwheels on Garry Street..

K. I kept telling him to go away, and Michelle kept telling him that I’m just shy and that’s how I act because I liked him, and to keep trying. So he did.

J. Michelle and I were having a fun time together, she was the instigator of us hanging out after. We came here, had drinks, listened to music – listened to The Carpenters. I think that he was impressed that I actually knew the words, cause I’m a huge Carpenters fan.

What are we making tonight?

K. Vegetarian enchiladas and Spanish rice.

What’s the occasion?

K. Drag Race Night. Just the gayest story, we met at Club 200, now we’re watching Drag Race.

 What do you two connect over?

J. Food, television and music. 

What was your high school look?

K. I feel like I was the same, kind of. Except without a beard. But really I think nothing’s changed, I was skinnier?

J. I was skinnier and I have photos to prove it. I started grade 9 and I went in with a mushroom cut.. my parents didn’t prepare me for anything, like I didn’t know that I was supposed to be wearing deodorant and puberty was kicking in. I remember being in the hall on my second month of grade 9, talking to my friends - the nerds - because I was into Pokemon cards at the time. This popular guy named Pete came up and was like, “ugh, you stink” and he head locked me. I don’t know if it was because I was a nerd or because I stunk but it was a very traumatizing experience. But then I got a haircut and I became popular. Just kidding. 

K. Didn’t your sister teach you to use deodorant, or one of your brothers?

J. No, no one told me anything. 

To keep the ladies at bay?

J. Haha, yeah totally. I came out in grade 10, it was Halloween. There was this boy that I really liked in drama class. At the beginning of the school year – he was joking, he had a girlfriend – he would sit beside me and touch my leg and say “I love you Josh.” Of course for me, because I’m into dudes, it was exciting. I took the same bus as him and because I could see where he was walking from, I found out where he lived. I decided on Halloween I was going to trick or treat at his house and tell him I liked him. I decided to go as a clown. 

There was this old clown costume in my family; a big red baggy jumpsuit with frilly clown wrists and bottoms, little stars… it was probably my mom’s pyjamas. Then I added a wig and clown makeup. I went trick or treating at his house and he was with his girlfriend. I told him the whole truth and he was like, “oh, I’m not gay man, I was just kidding.” So I was like, “oh ok, have a good night.”

I became a bit more social in grade 11 and 12 and started working so I could buy myself stuff. I had cool girlfriends who took me shopping. I tried all kinds of things, I went to raves and did the candy bracelet thing, I bleached my hair, y’know I’ve done it all.

K. Done it all.

Kevin, where did your love of cats begin and where will it end?

K. Well, it will never end. Growing up we always had tons of cats, at least 4 or 5. I guess when I first moved out I didn’t have a cat, and I missed them so much, and I eventually just got some. And stole one.

What?

K. Well, there was a cat that lived down the street from my apartment in Brandon. His owner would always leave him outside and go away for weeks at a time. All the neighbours would feed him, and he would sleep in their houses if possible. Eventually I just let him inside my house and named him “Orange Baby” so I wouldn’t get attached. We lived on the second floor and he would just get up there somehow. I ended up just keeping him and his name is still “Orange Baby.”

Josh, you’re entertaining the idea of doing drag?

J.  I am. It’s been on the back burner for a while. There’s so many things on the back burner. There’s drag, and songwriting.. losing weight. Yeah I definitely need to do drag for sure. Raquel and I have talked about going to buy my first outfit.

Anything else you’re doing to prepare? 

J. Well I have been working out. It’s so stupid, I always base some of these completely unrelated goals on, wanting to look a little better first. I want to be able to shave and not feel like I need my beard. But with drag you can do all that with makeup, like contouring. I kind of did drag for that Halloween social.

K. I wouldn’t call that drag though...

J. Well what would you call it then? I was a female impersonator. Dress Resemble A Girl. That’s what it stands for. The drag acronym came from Shakespeare, he’d cast men to play female characters, and it would say “DRAG” on the screenplay. It’s been around for hundreds of years. Big John told us that, and he’s like 50 so he knows.

K. He was there.

Kevin you’ve always been great at mixed tapes, mixed CDs.  Do you remember ‘Kevin’s All Time Favourite Songs’ CD?

K.  George Harrison...

J. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you listen to George Harrison.

K. My Sweet Lord, I guess I got tired of it. I know there was St. Etienne, they’re still my favourite band. Elliott Smith, Waltz #2.

Leonard Cohen…

K. Yep he’s still good.

There were a lot of female musicians, and 90’s stuff.

K. That’s what I like.

What do you miss most about the 90’s?

J. Spice Girls.

K. When I was in high school I was really into Brit Pop, like Oasis, Blur, Catatonia and all those bands. I miss going to CD stores or record stores after reading a review but never hearing any of the songs, it would just sound like something I’d like. Buying CDs was such a surprise because you didn’t know anything about what you were about to get. Whereas now, you just know everything, you go online and it’s all right there. It was fun coming to Winnipeg, going to the stores to buy CDs. 

If you were to choose a celebrity best friend who would it be?

J. Mine would have to be a female vocalist. Stevie Nicks or Celine Dion. I get along with older women, they’re my friends from work, I guess I’m just a bit of an old soul. Celine is so ridiculous on social media and stuff like that, I think she’d be like really fun. 

K.  Nina Bonina Brown. I’ll go with that.

If you were best friends with Nina Bonina Brown, what would you do on your perfect best friend day?

K. We’d sit in Nina Bonina’s basement and make fun of people, cause she doesn’t leave the house. 

Josh, what would you do with Celine Dion?

J. Ohhh. I think I’d just want to listen to her, cause I find her entertaining. Maybe I’d hang out with Stevie Nicks and share all my song writing with her, and tell her how much she influenced me, and tell her how she makes me cry.

What’s your dream hangover meal? 

K. It’s not this, it’s not healthy, it’s something greasy and comforting.

J. It has to be from a restaurant, it has to be fried, it has to have variety like cheese and dip. One of our most recent hangovers, we didn’t know what we wanted so we went to Popeyes, got a meal…

K. This is embarrassing.

J. And then we went to Jollibee and got a 6 piece bucket of spicy chicken to share, and then we went to Dairy Queen and got a chicken finger basket, Kevin wanted some mushroom burger, and then we also went to KFC/Taco Bell.

What did you get there?

K. Just a fries supreme… just.

J. We each have to have our own fries supreme.

K. That’s not my perfect hangover meal though, I think mine would be Chinese food. But not like, real Chinese food, western Chinese food that’s all battered and sweet and sour.

J. Like a three item combo from a food court? 

K. Dragon River. Or maybe Golden Loong…

J. Golden Loong is so good but it’s not great for a hangover because you don’t want to dine out, you want to pick it up or have it delivered. You’re in your sweatpants, you look like crap, you have alcohol breath, there’s TV to binge.