sam goes to myer’s deli
What’s your morning routine?
It’s changed because I’m trying to get fired from my job. It used to be that I wake up, like ‘oh fuck,’ put on my coat and run to the bus stop. But now I take my time in the morning, and they’re still not firing me, like I don’t know what’s going on. But I guess it makes sense because I work for my uncle - so he’s not going to fire me. You know?
What kind of music do you like listening to on your way to work?
I listen to the same five songs. I like Leonoard Cohan, I like ‘Suzanne’, it’s my favourite song of all time. I’ve been getting into British Pop, I like the Stone Roses, the song ‘Sally Cinnamon’ is so good. ‘I wanna sleep with common people, I wanna think whatever common people think…’. That song is so good. I listen to Van Morrison, that kind of stuff.
What’s your relationship to money?
I have no issues having not a lot of it. I kind of like it better. When I was away this summer, I didn’t have a lot of money and it was awesome, just like living off of apples and cigarettes. Apples, cigarettes and love.
That makes my tummy hurt.
It was great, I don’t know. But then there’s also part of me that feels like I’d like to live luxuriously, but luxurious to me just means that I could comfortably eat apples and smoke cigarettes in a warmer place.
What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
So, probably my worst job is...it’s a tie. When I was 14 I saw an ad for Dickie Dee. I drove around for a day in Fort Garry, in the summer, it was 40 degrees and I was riding this huge bike. I once fell over on a curb. I was driving for hours and like, no ones around in suburban areas during the day. A few people bought ice creams because they felt bad. I was also eating the ice cream. I went back to the house where there was some guy running it. I worked for about seven hours and left with $8 and then had to bus like an hour home from the South end. I called him the next day and was like, ‘I’m never doing this again.’
I also got a job working at an auto finance place when I was 15 - it’s like a shady car sales place. I don’t really know how it works, I didn’t actually work there. So it was outside of the perimeter, far on Roblin. I was like, ‘I’m going to bike there, I’m going to ride my bike, I’m 15, I have no other way of getting around.’ I rode my bike, all the way to the South end. I stopped at the Dairy Queen on Grant right before Kenaston, I was covered in sweat and I called the guy and was like, “I can’t work for you, I’m sorry.” I called my dad to pick me up, and I have this vivid memory of waiting 30 minutes just for fries. So those were the shittiest jobs.
Do you ever return food at restaurants?
It’s funny that you should say that, cause I’ve been bitching the past week about my grandma, who does that all the fucking time. It’s awful. Like I never want to see her again, not even joking. I don’t, I feel like I’m done with her. It’s awful. I’ll give you the most recent example. We went to Boston Pizza, which sucks, first of all. But they have good cactus cuts, I like the cactus cuts. She got a quesadilla, from Boston Pizza, and asked for no spice because she’s an old Jewish lady. She takes a bite, “this is spicy, yep, this is it, yep, too spicy, try this – you can’t breathe it’s so spicy.”
I ate a bit, and obviously it’s not spicy at all. And then my mom joins up on her team and is like, “please take this back, she wants a new one.” I’m just sitting there like, yep, that’s my grandma, and the waitress slowly hates you more. They finally discovered what the spice was, it was the sauce in the quesadilla. My dad has a theory about it, he thinks she just wants to get a free meal. We have a name for it - Complainorama.
Complainorama Gramma?
Yep, every time. Salisbury House, she’ll send it back - “it was cold.”
“This might be the best sandwich I’ve ever had.”
What kind of food did you grow up eating?
Food like this, deli meats, cold cuts, bagels – lots of bagels. Kraft Dinner as well… that’s a soft spot. Some people think it’s disgusting, but I love it. I never got McDonald’s as a kid growing up. A lot of stir fry, like classic slob stuff and take whatever you have in your fridge. I’ve lived with three dudes for a long time we have slob potential.
Can you describe your perfect day?
I wouldn’t have to work. I feel like that’s a song lyric. What I used to think a perfect day was, was Canada Day. I went to Osborne and slowly got taken to different things, like drinking and watching the fireworks at the end. Days like that are just easy, and you don’t have to think. I don’t deserve a perfect day, it needs to suck, it should be shitty as well. Then that makes it perfect, I don’t know.
We think you deserve a perfect day, and it sounds like it’s Canada Day Osborne.
It once was, haha.
Why do you live in Winnipeg?
Why else does anyone live in Winnipeg? Because their parents were born here and never escaped, that’s really it.
Do you ever think about moving?
Every day, haha. Every fuckin’ day. I have theories about Winnipeg, that it’s inside of a dome and we’re all trapped here. I feel like people get annoyed by it, because they love Winnipeg and they’re like, ‘you think you’re better than everything’, but I don’t. I think everyone’s better than Winnipeg, I’m not special. But the other day I got off the bus on Main Street, and I’ve never really walked down past Selkirk on Main and it’s really a cool view, all the high rises, from a vantage point you don’t normally get to see, it was a nice feeling.
What would your life look like without a name like Sam Singer?
It’d be awful. A lot of missed opportunities I think. Nobody would ever say “hey, Singer? And you’re a singer?” Any time someone finds out that I sing and my last name is Singer they think it’s a stage name. No, that’s my fathers’ name, and it’s a curse as well. The Singer curse. Runs in my family.
What’s the curse?
I forget actually, haha. It’s not that bad then, it was something though. But if I wasn’t a Singer I’d be a Kirshenbaum. That’s my mom’s name. I think about that sometimes, Sam Kirshenbaum. Can you see it? I’d be a doctor, a lawyer possibly. Maybe like a surgeon. Definitely not a musician.
I think we’re learning what the curse is.
There we go, I come from a family of failed singers.
What’s your favourite kind of mustard?
Probably Dijon. I think it is.
Interview by Katy Slimmon & Ali Vandale
Photography by Ali Vandale