dijon

bendrix goes to high tea

So why did you decide to have High Tea with us today?

I am a total treat freak. Pies top my list followed by cookies, cupcakes, and cinnamon buns. High Tea is the most magical looking bakery I’ve encountered in Winnipeg and their treats are absurdly delicious. When you go upstairs, it has the look and feel of a specialty cafe or bakery in New York or London — until you look outside and realize you are in Winnipeg! But seriously, I do think that there’s lots of great food here and we have some outstanding cafes, bakeries and restaurants.

What did you grow up eating?

My mother was very careful and strict with our diet. Hypertension runs rampant in the Black community, so my mom cut down on salt and used a lot of garlic in our meals. We didn’t eat pork at all. I remember being served fruit for dessert as a kid, but there were also amazing pies — banana cream pies, chocolate cream pies, sweet potato pies. My mom was the matriarch of our extended family so my parents often hosted Thanksgiving and other holidays meals. My mom was a hell of a cook, feeding six people each day including herself. As I got older, around high school, spaghetti became a favourite. I used to run cross country and track and field, and before a big race my mom would always prepare a large batch of spaghetti just for me.

What was your high school look?

Can I say high school and college? Actually I need to get this out there - my mom used to braid my hair when I was little, which wasn’t really popular for males at that time, in the early 70s. As a small kid, I was annoyed that my older brothers got their hair cut at a real barbershop while mine was braided like my younger sister. By the time I got to high school, I’d lost the braids. I guess I generally sported some form of sloping-fro. I remember sometimes getting what Black folks called a shag, which is the Black version of a mullet. I would see rappers on TV and so would get simple designs in my hair. By the time I got to university, I went back to braids and had all types of crazy hair styles. An ex-girlfriend once gave me cornrows on one side, twists on the other side (cornrows are twined down to the scalp from front to back, twists tend to come away from the scalp and hang straight down), and on the top, she used small rubber bands in rows and columns to form a kind of mini puff. I looked like a wild child. Black folks tend to have a challenging relationship with their natural hair, both women and men. As a child I had identity issues but as a young adult I totally embraced my natural hair. I had an impressive fro for a time in New York and began wearing scarves, Jimi Hendrix style. That's how the “Bendrix” moniker was born.

What was your first album/CD/cassette?

In high school, buying music wasn’t anywhere near as accessible is it is now, and I never had funds to buy anything. It wasn’t until University that I started collecting music cassettes like The Low End Theory by A Tribe Called Quest... and De La Soul Is Dead. I have so many delicious music memories from the brick and mortar record stores, but one time in particular stands out as probably my most memorable experience purchasing a CD.

I was walking around in a New Jersey shopping mall, it was 1993, came off the escalator into the main hallway where there was a record shop. I heard this ethereal music coming from it. You know how Tucan Sam floats on his back, the Fruit Loops Bird? “Follow my nose, it always knows!” That was me, I mentally floated in there, just like that. When I asked the shop keeper who the artist was, she told me the album was by Bjork. I didn’t know who the hell she was. Her album, Debut had just come out days earlier, and “Venus as a Boy” was playing. It was so beautiful, I had never heard a song like that before. There’s a movie called Immortal Beloved and it moved me so much. It was about Beethoven, who had a muse. I was like, ‘wow, what’s that - a muse, I’ve never heard of that!’ and I guess it inspired me so Bjork is my muse and Immortal Beloved. 

I’d been listening to everything from house music, grunge, to 80s rock to electronica - I still listen to many different types of music. I’ve seen Metallica live, and they were insanely good. I saw Nine Inch Nails live, and they were insanely good. I’ve seen many hop hop artists live. Hip hop is my core, but it has to be done really well like Tribe or Talib Kweli or Mos Def, or J Cole or Kendrick — love that guy. But Björk is my Immortal Beloved.

I have another interesting story, can I say it? There’s a musician by the name of Vanessa Daou. She’s not widely known but she has a hardcore loyal following. As a matter of fact, she was even a Jeopardy question. Her music is absolutely gorgeous. Before I went to China in 2007, I wrote an email to her, I didn’t expect anything back. I said that her album was the last album I bought before the World Trade Centre collapsed and I just fell in love with it. She wrote me back and we continued for about six or seven exchanges. We were both living in New York so we met for tea and talked for hours. There was no love affair or anything like that. We just enjoyed sharing ideas. She’s an amazing music composer and song writer. We began to discuss her tracks and their arrangement and bounced some ideas regarding a new album she was working on. It was very cool that she allowed me within a creative space with her. After I left for China, we kept in touch and when the album came out, she put “Bendrix” in the thank you credits. It was her first ever solo album, titled Joe Sent Me. That was a hugely meaningful and proud moment for me.

I pick up bits and pieces of different languages pretty easily. One great experience I had with communication was in Shanghai, with a guy from Malaysia who worked at the same studio. He didn’t speak great English, or great Mandarin, and when he did speak English his vocabulary was small. But he was an artist and very expressive. The way he delivered his words and communicated with gestures and facial expressions was so beautiful and eloquent. It made me rethink how I speak, gesture and express myself. I’m always striving to get better, whether it’s public speaking, writing, video editing, taking photos, a hug, whatever.

What is your favourite thing that you own?

My scarves, haha just kidding. My electronic gadgets are probably my favourite things. I use my iPhone all the time, my Apple watch a lot. What do I love the most? Well, all my Apple gear, but my new 13-inch Macbook is most cherished at the moment.

You seem to try hard to make people feel welcome. 

I had really bad acne when I was a kid and I was quite insecure about it. On top of that, I grew up as a Black American living in predominately white neighbourhoods. Being different and feeling inadequate is not comfy for anyone, let alone a child when nothing seems more important than fitting in. Being mindful of those around me and a genuineness in wanting to help others who felt isolated became important to me at an early age. It’s awesome when you can make a difference to another person.

 Everybody now talks about Black Lives Matter and the struggle of Black folks in America. My mom and pop were waging this fight in the late 60s and early 70s, when I was born. I grew up in a very Black conscious and academic-minded household. My parents taught us that we had to do everything ten times better than the white kids. And my sister had to be ten times better than myself and my two brothers, because as a Black girl she had a double strike against her.

I wasn’t aware of the local Black community when I first moved to Winnipeg, but I learned fast about the racism against Indigenous folks here and felt an immediate connection. I remember my pop telling me that American Indians also experience oppression and exclusion like us Black folks going back many generations, but it was here in Winnipeg that I first got to know Indigenous people. As a Black male, I identify with groups targeted for being Black or brown or in some way different from the dominant group. I also identify with and support the struggle of women and those folks who don’t have conventional identities or orientations. Unless we boldly go out and make our mark against all odds, we are mostly invisible.

Think long and hard for a second … when was the last time you were the only face of your kind in a room with hundreds of faces unlike yours? At the 2019 Mayor’s luncheon, someone pointed out to me that I was the only Black person in the crowd. I hadn’t even thought about it because I’m so desensitized to it, but its insanely lopsided for Black folks here in all walks of life, and certainly in the film industry. I’ve been pretty fortunate with my upbringing and experiences, but I get how overwhelming it can be.

To me, it’s exciting to bridge different communities. I think trying to make people feel welcome is just a natural human instinct, though obviously there are instincts that go the other way.